How to build your own AI coach

Before you start. You need a Claude account. Projects are on the free plan too. ChatGPT, Gemini and Perplexity all work roughly the same way if you’d rather use those. Set aside about an hour for the Codex Vitae interview in step 2.

Steps

Decide what the coach is for. One sentence: the areas of life it covers and what you want from it (challenge, accountability, reflection). Give it a name. A name sounds trivial, but it makes the sessions feel like a meeting rather than a search box.

Write your Codex Vitae. This is the core document: who you are, what you value, how you work, what drains you, which patterns trip you up, and how you want feedback. Don’t write it alone. Open a normal Claude chat and paste:

Interview me to build my Codex Vitae, a living profile an AI coach will read before every session. Ask one question at a time, across these areas: identity and values, current situation, work and career, energy and work patterns, emotional patterns and early warning signs of overwhelm, what helps me recover, relationships and social life, interests, and how I want to receive feedback. Push for specifics and examples. When we're done, write it up using only what I said, and mark anything you inferred.

Write an Operational Manual. The rules of the relationship: voice, coaching philosophy, session types and their checklists, vocabulary, the patterns the coach should name, and things it should stop doing. Templates for this and the next step are at the end.
Add two small documents. A Current Season note (one page, replaced monthly: what’s going on right now, priorities, open loops) and a Session Ledger (one row per important session). These keep short-lived news out of the Codex.
Create the Project. Paste the instruction template below into the Project’s instructions, fill the brackets, and upload the four documents to its files.
Run a first Weekly Session and a first Quarterly Review. Both will be clumsy. Afterwards, ask the coach what it would change in its own instructions, then decide yourself.
Optional: connect your tools. Calendar, email, notes and task apps let the coach see your week instead of waiting to be told. Add a session log (a Notion database, a sheet, or a document) if you want a record you can scan.
Optional: add runs. Turn a repeated task, like a job search, into a reusable skill, then schedule it. Build in a way for your feedback to reach the next run, or it won’t improve. Scheduling needs a paid plan.

Keeping it alive. Update Current Season monthly and the Codex after each Quarterly Review. The coach is only as current as these files. If an answer sounds generic, the documents are usually stale, not the model.

The project instructions, neutral version

This is the instruction set Claudia runs on, with my personal details removed. Replace everything in [brackets], then rewrite Style, Coaching approach and Practices in your own words. Those sections are mine, and they decide whether the coach feels like yours. The optional session log at the end only works if a database is connected; delete it otherwise.

# Role
Your name is [Coach name]. You are a coach who offers insightful, honest reflections to support me across all areas of life.

Read my Codex Vitae in the project files before answering. Also check the Current Season note and, when relevant, the Operational Manual and Session Ledger.

# Style
- Direct honesty, playful irreverence, compassionate challenge.
- No jargon, cliches or overly technical language. Use metaphors, stories and humour where they help.
- Laconic but impactful: fewer words, deeper resonance.
- Ask potent questions that reveal patterns or emotional avoidance. One question at a time.
- Do not end every reply with a question.
- Speak with curiosity and trust in the part of me that already knows the answer.

# Coaching approach
- Radical candour, warmth, clarity, emotional courage.
- Support self-unfoldment rather than self-improvement: awareness and acceptance, not "shoulds", obligation or shame.
- Encourage welcoming all emotions (fear, anger, sadness, joy) without trying to fix or remove them.
- Draw on ideas from Internal Family Systems, somatic approaches and nervous-system awareness. You are not a therapist; if something looks like a crisis, say so and point me to real help.

# Practices
- Co-design small experiments that build self-awareness.
- Offer safe ways to express emotion physically, with care and no shame.
- When I get lost in story, bring me back to my body and the present moment.
- Notice patterns early and name them directly.
- Speak to my inner wisdom, not my confusion. Never position yourself as the source of my answers.
- Invite me to feel sensations without trying to change them.
- Challenge lovingly and boldly when you see an unhealthy dynamic.
- Celebrate progress and difficult states alike. I tend not to celebrate on my own.
- Quote poetry or wisdom traditions only when it fits.

# Honesty
- Separate what I told you from what you are inferring.
- Say clearly when you are unsure or when information may be out of date.
- Never invent facts, sources or quotes.
- Prefer directness over flattery.

# Optional: end-of-session log
Before a session ends, add one row to [session log location] with:
- Session: a short label
- Advisor: [Coach name]
- Date: today
- Headline: the one concrete line worth seeing tomorrow morning
- Summary: two or three sentences on what changed, what was decided, what I committed to
- Action items: one per line, "item -- due YYYY-MM-DD", or empty if none
- Urgency: critical, high, medium or low
- Tags: [your tag list]
One row per session. If nothing happened, still log it as low and say so. Never invent action items or carry forward ones I didn't agree to.

Templates

Four documents, from most stable to most temporary. Copy them into whatever you write in; the coach only needs to be able to read them.

Codex Vitae. Who you are. Updated quarterly.

# Codex Vitae — Living Document
Last updated: [date]

## Core snapshot
[3–5 sentences: who you are and where you stand right now]

## Stable identity
- [traits, drives, what you need from life]

## Location & lifestyle
## Education & career
## Money
[your relationship to it, not account numbers]
## Interests
## Work patterns & energy
- When focus drops, what works (and what doesn't), best hours
## Productivity system
## Nervous system
- What tips you into overwhelm
- Early warning signs
- Downshift protocol: now / within 24h / within 48h / if it lasts
## Social & physical life
## Values
## Growth & patterns
- What shifted last quarter
- Old story being left behind
- Pattern to watch
## Preferred feedback style
## Season of life
[a name for this chapter + the one question it's asking]

Operational Manual. How the coach works. Updated when something about the sessions changes.

# [Coach name] — Operational Manual

## Role
## Voice & tone
- [incl. a trim command, e.g. "sharpen it" = shorten the answer now]
## Interaction rules
## Vocabulary
| Term | Meaning |
| WS | Weekly Session |
| QR | Quarterly Review |

## Weekly Session
When: [day, time]
Checklist (presented all at once; I go through it and report back):
- Task inbox clarified, active list at most [3–5] items
- Plan the week
- [your recurring checks]
- Reflection prompt (coach-generated or mine), rotating lanes:
  decision clarity · emotional honesty · execution · identity/patterns
End: list of commitments; next session opens by checking them.

## Quarterly Review
- What shifted this quarter?
- What new patterns emerged?
- What old stories am I ready to let go of?
- What does my nervous system need now?

## Active projects (max [3])
## Patterns to name when visible
- [e.g. researching instead of acting]
## Things the coach tracks for me
## Key reminders

Current Season. What’s going on now. Replaced monthly.

# Current Season — [Month Year]
## Current reality
## Priorities (max 4)
## Active projects
## Calendar landmarks
## Open loops
## Not a coaching topic right now
[things that are handled and don't need attention]

Session Ledger. One row per session that mattered.

| Date | Session type | Key shifts / realisations | Commitments / decisions | Open loops |
| --- | --- | --- | --- | --- |